Oct 31

Oct 31 Family Meal - Bryan Washington

But TJ, said Jin, listen. I need you to understand that you are my son. That’s all that matters to me. I want you to feel however you need to feel, and to be the you that you are. Because I love you. If that’s a part of you, then I love it too.

The quote above is one of many that had me in my feelings. Bryan Washington’s third novel is absolutely gorgeous, heartbreaking, very sexual and at times, stressful as hell.

Cam, one of the main characters, is recovering from the death of his partner and love, Kai. Leaving Los Angeles, Cam moves back to Houston where he indulges in drugs, alcohol and lots of reckless sex. His childhood friend, TJ shows up at the bar where he works after years of estrangement. TJ, dealing with his own trauma, has no idea how to deal with Cam. Both of them are angry, unsure and incredibly sad. Their grief is palpable and threatens to take them both down in different ways.

Family Meal is Bryan Washington’s best work, I’m just going to say it. I read it in a couple of days and that’s only because I had other stuff to do. It is easily a read-in-one-sitting kind of book and is written so well. I felt Cam’s grief so profoundly and was worried for him for most of the book. Kai’s death is shocking and also incredibly familiar. Cam sees Kai’s ghost off and on, appearing at random, adding to the trauma but also keeping Kai close at the same time. When Cam breaks down in one of the most stressful ways I’ve read in a book, his journey to recovery finally begins.

I read Bryan Washington’s previous book, Memorial and liked it, but this book is probably going to be my number one of 2023. It does not pull any punches when it comes to what TJ and Cam are going through. Readers are not allowed to look away and we shouldn’t. We need to feel what they are feeling, thinking, seeing. It is hard to read at times but very necessary. During Cam’s breakdown, I wanted to jump into the book and shield him because the author wrote the breakdown in such detail that I felt real worry and fear for Cam.

The last part of the book had me in my feelings and I found myself getting teary-eyed. Family Meal is Bryan Washington’s best work and I can’t wait to read it again.

Content warnings: drug use; drug abuse; murder by police; eating disorder; sexual content; death of a parent.

Where to buy: The Lit. Bar Loyalty Bookstores Amazon